What really brought Kerry to campaign for Biden?
There were three things 2019 didn’t need, but got anyway: Greta Thunberg, typhus, and John Kerry.
It wasn’t all that long ago that John Forbes Kerry had paddled his girly bike into the sunset. After being humiliated by Iran, Russia, and any other country that would stoop so low, he was gone.
Now he’s back.
Joe Biden, who couldn’t get Al Gore or Michael Dukakis on the phone, or George McGovern on the Ouija Board, brought Kerry out to campaign for him in New Hampshire. Kerry did win the Democrat primary in New Hampshire all the way back in 2004. Saddam Hussein was on trial, Kill Bill was in theaters, and Joe Biden had spent a mere 62 years on this spinning globe. What does Kerry have to offer Joe in 2019?
“Joe Biden is a little bit like the New England Patriots, I think,” Kerry declared at a Biden rally. “Come February, I like having an experienced quarterback like Tom Brady calling those plays.”
Considering Biden’s wandering hands, a better analogy might have been Antonio Brown.
There are many things that Biden and the Patriots have in common, they cheat, they’re on a losing streak, and when things go wrong, they blame the referee. But John Kerry is as committed to fumbling sports metaphors as he is to marrying vulgar rich women for their money. Everyone knows that Kerry’s favorite Red Sox player is Manny Ortez (whoever that may be) and that the Red Sox seventh-inning stretch song is Sweet Adeline. But Kerry should have really stayed away from football metaphors.
When Kerry misstated Lambeau Field as Lambert Field, Football Fans for Truth was born.
Maybe Kerry should have stayed away period. Bringing him out is a reminder of what Biden and Kerry have in common beyond losing elections in a cloud of gaffes. Before Hunter Biden got famous for smoking crack in a VIP room at a strip club, was sued for paternity by another stripper, and became the anchor dragging down his father’s campaign after revelations about getting paid $50,000 a month by a corrupt Ukrainian energy company, he was in business with John Kerry’s stepson, Chris.
Rosemont Capital, the $2.4 billion private equity firm owned by John Kerry’s stepson and Hunter Biden, did business with Chinese government companies and partnered with Whitey Bulger’s nephew whose father was a Kerry ally. There’s a hell of a team there, but I don’t think it’s allowed to play in the NFL.
After teasing about his own possible presidential run at Harvard, Kerry had dismissed it on MSNBC.
“Why wouldn’t you run, during this crucial time, for president of the United States?” he was asked.
“Because I’m doing what I’m doing right now,” Kerry had replied.” How’s that?”
What is Kerry doing right now?
Kerry has been getting back to his roots, working with Vietnamese Communist government officials on green energy projects. Rarely has the red-green alliance been quite this literal.
Why is Kerry working on an energy deal with the Vietnamese? How does he stand to profit? Good question. Kerry discussed his plan to build plants in Vietnam at the Clean Energy Finance Forum at Stanford. After it was reported on, the video of Kerry’s remarks was quickly taken down.
If only we had a press that was interested in the misconduct of people with a D after their name. Since we don’t, we have to turn to the Vietnamese media for coverage of what Kerry is up to.
In an interview with a Vietnamese outlet, Kerry mentioned that the “Prime Minister and the Politburo” of Vietnam “need some help from outside to bring finance in.” Last year, Hanoi John went to Hanoi to address the Vietnam Economic Forum. Video of his remarks showed him speaking alongside a red and yellow hammer and sickle. No word on whether he managed a reunion with his old pal, Madame Binh.
Kerry’s Vietnamese odyssey casts a whole new light on his recent announcement of World War Zero.
World War Zero is Kerry’s new global warming coalition combining the talents of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ashton Kutcher, Sting, John Kasich, and Leonardo DiCaprio to raise donations and spread awareness about annoying celebrities and politicians lecturing everyone about the environment.
“There’s no group that has people as diverse as ours in terms of nationality, age, gender, ideology, background, life experience and all of these people have come together saying, we’ve got to treat this like a war,” Kerry insisted.
If Kerry believed this was a war, he would have gone to Pennsylvania to surrender to the coal miners.
World War Zero is backed by the American Security Project whose board brings together such stunning political talents as Gary Hart, Christine Todd Whitman, Chuck Hagel, and, well John Kerry. If these relics all went out and campaigned for Joe Biden, the critical mass of political losers would destroy the planet.
A moderately honest media might have tried to report on Kerry’s Vietnamese hijinks instead of running puff pieces on his newest environmental push. But that, like reporting on the incredible business talents that enabled Hunter Biden to score a fortune from foreign government, is off limits.
Instead the media touts Kerry’s Vietnamese push as “shadow diplomacy”. The legal term for shadow diplomacy is Logan Act violation. Kerry has a long history of Logan Act violations, before and after his time in government. But his post-Obama career has been an epic Logan Act violation spree which started with his contacts with Iran, and then moved on to telling Islamic terrorist leaders in the Palestinian Authority to “stay strong” and “not yield to President Trump’s demands.”
Kerry also allegedly claimed that Trump wouldn’t be in office within a year.
It’s December 2019. President Trump is still in office. Kerry has said that there’s “powerful” evidence to impeach Trump. Now he’s trying to drag Biden over the finish line by comparing him to Tom Brady.
Kerry claimed that Biden is “a Joe that represents the middle class of America and understands them.”
The last time Kerry encountered a member of the American middle class, it was while he was fixing his 76-foot luxury yacht. Or perhaps landscaping his vast 18.5 acre Martha’s Vineyard estate.
If the seas are rising and the world is ending, a Martha’s Vineyard estate is an odd investment. But maybe once Kerry’s Communist green energy deal goes through, he’ll be able to afford something better. Meanwhile, with his Nantucket home gone, John is in Nashua, New Hampshire, pitching Joe.
Joe is like the Patriots and Tom Brady. He embodies the middle class of America. And, mostly, he can make Kerry’s Vietnam thing happen. Especially if the Vietnamese bring Hunter Biden on board.
Why did Kerry come out so early for Biden? The usual answer is follow the money.
Biden and Kerry are the corrupt oligarchy that is bleeding this country dry while papering over its crimes with fumbled sports references and fake attempts by millionaires posturing as part of the middle class.
They lecture us that the seas will rise from their seaside estates. They tell us that they want to save the world, when what they really want is another sinecure for their trust fund snots.
From Hanoi to New Hampshire, John Kerry is still selling out America and Americans.